But for this, you need some history. I had sperm donor. He's a nice enough man as far as I know - I've spent little time with him. My guess? Somewhere to the tune of 50 days out of the 15,082 making up my lifetime (as of the date of this post.) Even more estranged... the Grandparents and other members of his family. The quality time I've spent with his extended family is somewhere around 20-25 days of my 15,082. In the latter half of my life (approximately the last 7,540 days) I've seen a few of the peeps about 3 times.
So now you have those details, here's the challenge:
I got a Christmas card from the grandparents. It was a lovely colorful card with the word "Peace" on the front - very swanky. Inside, the following words were hand-written:
"We drew names again, and you drew Caden. Amber and Rick's 5-year-old. He's a darling, smart young man. He goes to an academy school for free. He's doing real well. Email is (amber@fortheirprivacy.com) if you wish to ask Amber some more details about him. When you are through, please send it to us at (grandma@fortheirprivacy.com) this next week. We're going to put everything together then."
Okay - WTF? I emailed for clarification. Turns out, they didn't want me to send a gift. Nope. What they are looking at me to do is write a personal note about this 5-year-old for the family to read out loud on Christmas day.
So let's start a game. What do you think I did? Here are your 3 choices. Please weigh in with your best guess.
Option A: I followed the instruction and wrote and submitted the following piece: "Caden, YOU are the most spectacular 5-year-old ever. You bring such joy to my life, just knowing you exist. I marvel at your genius mind, and the determination and persistence it must take to rise above all the other 5-year-olds at your private academy. Your mom, Amber adores you and everyone finds you nothing less than charming. Merry Christmas, my very special.... relative (of some sort) xoxo Wendy"
Option B: Instead of writing, I sent the child a gift via the Mormon grandparents. I bought him a book called "Holiday Elixirs" so in 16 years, he'll know what kind of seasonal adult beverages to shake up for the guests.
Option C: I sent my grandmother this email: "Hi Grandma. Um... strange to do this since I have never met the child, and as far as I know, I've never met the child's parents either. I don't even know who this child's grandparents are. The only connection I have to any of them is at some point one of their mom's mom's mom came from you (or was it dad's dad's dad - I don't know). Writing something personal about someone I've never met seems inappropriate. I don't mean to be difficult, but if you can provide me with someone I've met, I'd be happy to write about them. Happy holidays."
3 comments:
WTF is right!!! I guess you did Option C, but I really loved Option B the best. No wonder your sperm donor is so screwed up, as well as the rest of the bunch....I wonder who they think they're kidding when they do this kind of crap...? I was DELIGHTED that you blogged - I was just thinking I needed to needle you a bit about it. Love you, AJ
Never mind the guessing game - I want to hear about the note that was written about you by some member of the mystery clan.
I vote for Option C. People are NUTS that is for sure!! Hope you are well. Love you, also good luck with your 8 days with your new beau, those moments are always very telling like you said. I am sure you will learn a lot about where you are with this guy!
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